


Bittersweet

by ooreoz



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst, ITS ALL ANGST, M/M, Oneshot, and terrible, dont read it lol, way too overdramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooreoz/pseuds/ooreoz
Summary: Baz is dying and the only thing on his mind is to hear Simon say ‘I love You’ one last time





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> This sucks dont @ me

BAZ  
The alleyway was poorly lit by one crappy light pole and the slight rain falling from the sky hit my skin like cold gun shots. My shaky breath could probably be heard from blocks away, and yet nobody was around.

The faceless figure had ran long ago, leaving me alone with my wound and regrets. Stupid. I was so fucking stupid. The cold wet stone wall I was leaning against was digging into my palms the pain like a slight relief from the bigger problem. I don’t know how long I stood like that before the pain started getting to me, my head was starting to haze up and the tears running down my face were starting to dry up.

“Simon,” I managed to choke out as I fell to the ground not able to hold my weight any more. The rain started getting worse and a choked out sob escaped me. I can’t leave him, I promised him. I would never leave him.

“Oh god,” I cried out when a particularly bad wave of pain stroke through me. I couldn’t hear my own heavy breathing anymore as the pouring started getting worse, the wound wouldn’t stop bleeding anytime soon and I knew these would be my last moments.

My hand pressing against the would to try to lengthen the process was drenched in blood by now and I could feel it dripping on to the wet concrete under me.

“I-I have to...” I whispered painfully as I used my other hand to dig through my pocket for my phone.

“Simon.” The tears were still falling on my face mixing with the rain and I had to get my sobs under control if I was to do this. God this is morbid. Even for me.

My wet hand found the phone and I carefully took it out trying not to drop it. I pressed the home button letting the blue light from the screen illuminate me.

23:17 it read.

I was supposed to be home almost 20 minutes ago. Simon was probably starting to worry. My head was hurting but the wound was painless by now. I wasn’t feeling the effects of if anymore but I knew what that meant. It was getting worse. I took a few seconds to get my breathing under control and forced a smile on my face.

“It’s gonna be okay,” I told myself quietly. I tried to make it sound as reassuring and genuine as possible. It wasn’t hard. 

I forced the smile to stay on my face as a few more tears ran down my face. I had tuned out the rain by now. It seemed like a silly thing to worry about right about now.

Taking a shallow breath, I pressed on the contacts icon on the screen. The wetness made it a bit hard but I managed. I didn’t have to scroll to find Simon. He was the first on the list.

A sudden strike of pain made me yell out in pain. My breath was picking up again and taking in air was starting to hurt. I almost dropped my phone when the coughing started.

“No, no, no, not yet,” I sobbed as I leaned my head against the wall behind me.

Looking up at the sky I was met with nothing but darkness. Letting out a bitter laugh I shook my head. What else would I be met with? Even in my last minute the universe hates me.

Another cough shook through me again, this time more violent. I had to bend forward to let what ever was coming up out. It was hot and metallic making me gag as I coughed it out. Blood. Of course.

There wasn’t much time left. I had to make the call fast.  
Determined and using my last strength, I picked the wet phone up again and pressed on his name. I watched as It dialed before setting it to my ear.   
I waited.

And suddenly a beep was heard right before his voice came through.

“Baz?” It sounded unsure.

“Baz are you okay? Did u have to stay late? Is that why you aren’t home? Are you outside? I hear rain.” And worried, slightly panicked. I let myself smile despite it. Oh how I loved his voice.

“No Si-mon,” my voice had cracked making me cough again. More blood. And my vision was getting blurry. “No Simon, I’m fine” I tried again. “Don’t worry baby I’m okay. I’ll be home soon.” Lies.

“Oh, okay.” He sounded better now. Oh Simon. I’m so sorry. I’m a terrible person, I shouldn’t do this. I know I shouldn’t. It’s the worst thing I could be doing right now. But I’m evil. And selfish. I know. But I have to hear him. I have to hear it. I have to hear his voice one last time. Another tear rolled down my cheek.

“I made some scones for dinner, well they are a bit burnt but it doesn’t matter. They might be a bit hard too by now. They sat here for a few hours. And I used some of the cherries Penny’s mom came with last week. I didn’t think I’d like them since they are store bought but guess what.”

I let him ramble as I smiled and closed my eyes. Oh how I loved him. Oh how I wish this wasn’t happening. We were supposed to have forever. We were supposed to grow old together, adopt a cat, move into the suburbs. Have a perfect quiet life. Full of love and happiness. We were supposed to get married. I cried silently at the thought.

“What?” I choked out, hope he didn’t notice the strain in my voice.  
“They taste exactly the same as the ones from the farm!” He laughed. He laughed, how heavenly.

SIMON

I laughed as I sat down on the couch, he sounded a bit off. But thats just how he is, I don’t think more of it.  
Letting myself pause for a second as I smiled happily, I sat and listened to his breathing. It sounded a bit strained. Was he getting sick?

“Uh, hey Baz? Are you sure you’re okay? When are you getting home?” I toyed with the string from my joggers as I frowned.

“No, no, I’m fine Simon. Don’t worry.” He said from the other end pausing at the end.

“I love you Simon. I love you so much. I wished to give you the stars, the moon and everything in between.”He spoke sounding sadder than I had ever heard him. I was starting to get worried but at the same time his words made me melt.

“Baz.... please tell me you’re okay. I’m getting scared, Baz please.” My hands were starting to shake and my heart was aching. I had never been this worried.

“Baz where are you? I’m coming to get you.” I sat up going around looking for my keys. I know I had set them somewhere around here.

He was silent on the other end. Which worried me more than anything. “Baz? Please Baz, you’re starting to scare me.” I started tearing up but not allowing myself to cry.

“Simon, I- I love you.” His voice broke as he sobbed into the line. He sounded broken.

“BAZ?” I yelled starting to panic, I couldn’t control my tears any longer as they streamed down my face. “BAZ?!”

A thud sounded from the other end as the line went dead.  
“...”  
“...”  
“...”  
“.....Baz?”


End file.
